On Thoughts Of Mrs. Reed

    Despicable. 

    That's all I see when I notice Mrs. Reed's eyes on me. She's despicable. She sees me as despicable. To her, I am nothing but a prickly thorn in her side. A dirty stain in her perfect life. A black sheep bleatinng pathetically while she daintily cares for her own children. And I paid no mind.

    I suppose saying that I paid no mind would be inaccurate. I did mind the impartiality. I did mind the unfair and unjust treatment that I so often received while living in Gateshead. It almost drove me to madness and my mind was plagued with thoughts of falling into an eternal sleep. How delightful, how tempting it even sounds now.

    There were many incidents against her that I could've spoken about. But the indignation and the humiliation I faced overflowed and broke a carefully constructed dam inside me. 

    Let us go back to the previous post on Mr. Brocklehurst. I briefly mentioned of being falsely accused of being a liar and Mr. Brocklehurst had the rotten heart to admonish me for it. But I've gotten my anger out on Mr. Brocklehurst before. Now, in this little diary, Mrs. Reed shall suffer some indignation. I write this to immortalize this incident, to forever remember the height of Mrs. Reed's cruel and neglectful treatment.

    Aside from being horrified of being so blatantly and falsely accused, I was, for the first time in a long time, truly saddened by her. It shouldn't be surprising and contrary to popular thought, I did see this coming. But knowing that something terrible was about to happen and actually experiencing it are two different things.

    I stood my ground. I called out Mrs. Reed for her falsehood. And, for the first time, Mrs. Reed conceded my defeat. She leaves to her room after a few moments of trying to respond. Maybe I shouldn't have done it and maybe I should've tried to be the perfect, obedient girl she wanted me to be. But I was still running high on adrenaline on the prospect of leaving this place.

    My thoughts on Mrs. Reed are as follows: perhaps she might deserve a twinge of sympathy but her cruelty weighs out. I suppose it's time to leave her in the past but it'll hardly be easy to do so.